A Rookie's Take on Dialysis: Who Knew the Bee Gees Were Writing Dialysis Tunes?

Ah...ah...ah...ah...Stayin' Alive!

It's Wednesday and I just got back from dialysis and I am staying alive.  In two days, I will go for another dialysis treatment...so I can stay alive.

This is my main objective these days...stay alive.

This has been one of the biggest psychological adjustments to dialysis.

I have gotten so used to remedial treatments.  

My back is sore so I go to the chiropractor.  After a few treatments, my back is better.

I have a toothache so I go to the dentist.  After she does her work, my mouth is no longer in pain.

I go to the gym and I get in shape.

Dialysis is a different cup of tea.  I go to dialysis so that I can make it a couple more days so that I can go to dialysis so that I can make it a couple more days so that I can go to dialysis...

When the reality of that first hit me, I felt myself being overwhelmed with discouragement.  It was like the ultimate dead end job.  

But slowly I am adjusting.  I'm beginning to understand that dialysis is more like breathing.  I just turned 48.  That means I have taken around 400 million breaths in my lifetime.  You'd think that after all those breaths I would be good to go for a while.  But if I stop for even three minutes, I die.  Ultimately, I breathe so that I can live so that I can breathe so that I can live...

You know, i used to make goals that furthered my fame or my future or my fancy.  Not so much these days.  Now my focus has been reduced (maybe refined is a better word...more of a positive bent to it).  Now my goal is to stay alive.

This is a strange situation to be in.  It takes a little getting used to.  That's dialysis.

But, it's Wednesday.  I just had dialysis.  I am staying alive.  All in all a pretty successful week.

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